Can you hear me now?!
Please, can we stop saying "yeah....but.."
We all know the type, the person that always wants to be the loudest voice. The person that has to have the last word in everything they discuss. The one who waits (or doesn't) for you to finish talking only to share their response. We've all encountered this type of person. A lot of people want to be right all the time. This is not a dig at anyone in particular, I think I've just become more sensitive to it since I have been examining myself.
To be completely vulnerable and open, that was one of Sam's biggest issues with me before we got married. I always had a retort. I always wanted to be right. I mean, thats pretty human of me but how annoying is that! No one wants to be friends with someone that has to be right all the time. I had this need to be heard and understood that I desperately wanted him to fulfill, but that can only be fulfilled by God. And a lot of the times, I was actually wrong.
I realized real quickly that saying "yeah...but" after everything someone says is giving 0 respect to the information they just offered. I'm not saying you shouldn't have honest discourse. I am saying that as a generation we have lost the art of healthy conversation. We are all looking for something to make us feel important and often that is at the expense of a relationship.
We've all heard the saying "you have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you speak." This is truth. You will make a much greater impact on the world with how well you listen versus the information that you want to spew. There will always be a time and a place where it is your turn to speak - but as an overall you should listen instead. People will WANT to hear from you if you are prone to listening.
This is a lesson I am still walking through, obviously, and will continue for the rest of my life. I have dealt with feelings of never being heard because there has always been so many louder voices around me. The truth of the matter is that being heard is often over rated. In a "look at me, hear me, see me" culture - your life will shine bright walking in the opposite spirit. Humility takes the cake y'all. We aren't always right, we don't always have the most valuable information, we have a lot to learn, and we certainly should learn to respect others view points and opinions without thinking it diminishes yours!
Four ways to honor someone in conversation.
1. Open your ears, shut your mouth.
2. Ask questions. Validate their answers and have genuine interest in what they have to say.
3. Understand that you can learn from anyone. Find something to take away from their side.
4. Realize that just because you disagree with what they are saying, doesn't mean you are right and they are wrong. There can be two rights in a disagreement!
We all know the type, the person that always wants to be the loudest voice. The person that has to have the last word in everything they discuss. The one who waits (or doesn't) for you to finish talking only to share their response. We've all encountered this type of person. A lot of people want to be right all the time. This is not a dig at anyone in particular, I think I've just become more sensitive to it since I have been examining myself.
To be completely vulnerable and open, that was one of Sam's biggest issues with me before we got married. I always had a retort. I always wanted to be right. I mean, thats pretty human of me but how annoying is that! No one wants to be friends with someone that has to be right all the time. I had this need to be heard and understood that I desperately wanted him to fulfill, but that can only be fulfilled by God. And a lot of the times, I was actually wrong.
I realized real quickly that saying "yeah...but" after everything someone says is giving 0 respect to the information they just offered. I'm not saying you shouldn't have honest discourse. I am saying that as a generation we have lost the art of healthy conversation. We are all looking for something to make us feel important and often that is at the expense of a relationship.
We've all heard the saying "you have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you speak." This is truth. You will make a much greater impact on the world with how well you listen versus the information that you want to spew. There will always be a time and a place where it is your turn to speak - but as an overall you should listen instead. People will WANT to hear from you if you are prone to listening.
This is a lesson I am still walking through, obviously, and will continue for the rest of my life. I have dealt with feelings of never being heard because there has always been so many louder voices around me. The truth of the matter is that being heard is often over rated. In a "look at me, hear me, see me" culture - your life will shine bright walking in the opposite spirit. Humility takes the cake y'all. We aren't always right, we don't always have the most valuable information, we have a lot to learn, and we certainly should learn to respect others view points and opinions without thinking it diminishes yours!
Four ways to honor someone in conversation.
1. Open your ears, shut your mouth.
2. Ask questions. Validate their answers and have genuine interest in what they have to say.
3. Understand that you can learn from anyone. Find something to take away from their side.
4. Realize that just because you disagree with what they are saying, doesn't mean you are right and they are wrong. There can be two rights in a disagreement!
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