Mild Mama

This blog is going to be a little bit different. I am just going to go over the basics, one by one. Making a few points and if any of these spark something in you and you want to reach out, I'd love to hear from you! 1. Marriage doesn't HAVE to be hard. There are times that will be tough, obviously , but its all in your attitude and how you handle yourself during a conflict. YOU get to decide how a conflict is going to go. 2. Trying to control your spouse won't get you anywhere. You need to trust them and understand that they're ultimately accountable to God and that is a lot scarier than them being accountable to you. Giving ultimatums and threatening isn't the way to get what you want. You will get them to respond to you in love when you first respond to them in love. 3. Marriage consists of two humans. Humans - people who make zillions of mistakes, people who come from all different walks of life, people who communicate differently. Hopefully before you com...

Yesterday, Laynee wasn't napping. I'm not exactly sure why, but she just wasn't in to it. So, we were laying in bed together - smiling, laughing, butterfly-kissing. I thought, man I need to document this, I feel like life is passing me so quickly and my kids become grown over night. I got out my camera and turned the forward facing view on and oh. my. lanta. What I saw staring back at me was an old, haggard, sleep deprived mom, with 0 make up on because,  honestly , who has the time... (if you don't know by now, I love to keep it real - you aren't going to hear about my "perfect" life on this blog so proceed with caution) I held that camera up for like a good 5 minutes trying to snap a cute picture of Laynee and me. Haha, not happening. There was seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY , no good angle. It was terrible. I laid in bed and thought, wow - I can't even pick one good feature about myself. No filter is gonna fix this. My heart sank and I immediatel...

I mean... it is important, but it's  definitely  not everything. We live in a generation where everything is so hyper-sexualized. Everything can be an inappropriate innuendo, people break up with their significant others because they're "incompatible" in that area... Some people even completely lose their identity in their sexuality. Their sexuality becomes what defines them as a person. When in reality, our sexuality is only a  small sliver  in the totality of who we are. Before you get married, PLEASE, please,  please   don't do it because you are compatible sexually. You can grow in that area, where its not so easy to grow if you naturally disagree with the majority of what your partner believes. When I married Sam, I married knowing the cost of our commitment. I knew going into it, even if I was in a horrible accident and would never be able to have sex again, that he would still love me and choose me and I the same for him. Because THAT is what marri...

The other night, I was laying in bed - exhausted. I was ready to go to sleep after the long day. I had a whole evening planned out. I was going to take the longest, hottest shower known to man - because I had forgotten Laynee had spit up in my hair two days before and I was wondering why my hair was sticky and I smelled funky (real life y'all, I don't make these things up.) I was going to paint my nails, maybe put on a face mask, ya know, the whole self care thing that people are raving about these days - I was gonna try it out. Long story short, I showered with a 4 month old. I finished up - quickly blow dried my hair into a massive, poofy, frizz while she slept for a minute and then suddenly all. hell. broke. loose. Laynee lost it. I was rocking her trying to guess what could be wrong. All was fine and good for the first few minutes, I'm a " seasoned"  mom now, right? I've got 3 kiddos, it ain't my first rodeo. WRONG. I had no clue what to do. Sam look...