Sex in the kitchen.
OW OW - Sex in the kitchen, sounds fun doesn't it?!
Unfortunately, that is NOT what I am talking about today haha. At least not exactly, I am talking about intimacy out in the open. This blog is coming for you, my fellow parents. Do you realize how important it is for your kids to see you love on your spouse? Holding hands, kissing, hugging etc. Kids feel so safe when they see their parents loving each other.
I grew up in a single parent home. It was just me and my mama (and a million older siblings who mostly were moved out). I loved everything about my childhood - but I didn't get to see a healthy flourishing relationship. I never saw how a husband should love his wife or how a wife should love her husband. I never experienced what a healthy relationship looked like until I was older when my siblings were starting to get married. I so appreciate being able to see those relationships bloom and watch as God worked through them. When I started dating Sam, he was ALL about physical affection (maybe a little too much lol). He was always holding my hand, putting his arms around me, kissing, hugging, and dancing with me. It made me so uncomfortable in the beginning because I just wasn't used to it. Fast forward and here we are 7 years into our relationship with 3 beautiful babies - there was a day where I first noticed it, Sam came home from work, I was in the kitchen, he dipped me and kissed me. Our kids were sitting there staring wide-eyed with, no exaggeration, the BIGGEST smiles on their faces. They loved it. To this day, they love seeing us hold hands, dance together, kiss, and say kind words to each other.
I quickly realized this makes our kids feel secure with us. They aren't confused about our relationship. They see their dad loving me so well and me doing my best to love him in return. They see a relationship that has hard discussions out in the open because we also believe our kids benefit from learning how to have healthy conflict. This does not apply to every fight obviously - but minor disagreements, you best believe we work those things out in the open. I'm not going to raise children who think we are perfect. We are human, we make mistakes, but they will be assured that no matter what- we love each other above anyone else. If you have all of the conflict without the affection or vice versa, I feel it does your children a disservice.
Intimacy comes in many forms, it is not all physical. I believe working through conflict is a part of working in intimacy. You don't grow in relationship if there aren't hard things that you need to struggle through with your spouse. I believe with my whole heart, it is incredibly beneficial to our children to see us work through our issues, it also holds us accountable to be kinder to each other because little ears are listening. I want my kids to know the truth of what it takes to build a solid relationship. I want them to learn communication because one day when they're older and married with kids of their own, I want them to remember how mom and dad always tried their best to love well even though we didn't always get it right. I take my job as a parent seriously, I think of what I can do now to benefit my kids as adults. I want to give my children a head start in their relationships that I didn't get so they can go above and beyond what Sam and myself are ever able to do.
A few take aways!
1. Put Jesus as the center of your relationship. Let everything flow out of your love for Him and I can guarantee things won't necessarily be easier, but you'll have someone to guide you through.
2. Love your spouse in the open. Don't be ashamed to let your kids see you kiss, hug, and be affectionate with one another. They will flourish because of it.
3. Allow them to learn conflict resolution from you. The goal isn't to present yourself as a perfect parent to your kids, the goal is to show them that even though we are far from perfect we are doing our best.
If you have any questions on Jesus, parenting, marriage, or relationships - please feel free to message me! Or if you have a topic you'd love me to write on, send it my way, I'd love to hear from you!
Don't forget to subscribe! XO
Unfortunately, that is NOT what I am talking about today haha. At least not exactly, I am talking about intimacy out in the open. This blog is coming for you, my fellow parents. Do you realize how important it is for your kids to see you love on your spouse? Holding hands, kissing, hugging etc. Kids feel so safe when they see their parents loving each other.
I grew up in a single parent home. It was just me and my mama (and a million older siblings who mostly were moved out). I loved everything about my childhood - but I didn't get to see a healthy flourishing relationship. I never saw how a husband should love his wife or how a wife should love her husband. I never experienced what a healthy relationship looked like until I was older when my siblings were starting to get married. I so appreciate being able to see those relationships bloom and watch as God worked through them. When I started dating Sam, he was ALL about physical affection (maybe a little too much lol). He was always holding my hand, putting his arms around me, kissing, hugging, and dancing with me. It made me so uncomfortable in the beginning because I just wasn't used to it. Fast forward and here we are 7 years into our relationship with 3 beautiful babies - there was a day where I first noticed it, Sam came home from work, I was in the kitchen, he dipped me and kissed me. Our kids were sitting there staring wide-eyed with, no exaggeration, the BIGGEST smiles on their faces. They loved it. To this day, they love seeing us hold hands, dance together, kiss, and say kind words to each other.
I quickly realized this makes our kids feel secure with us. They aren't confused about our relationship. They see their dad loving me so well and me doing my best to love him in return. They see a relationship that has hard discussions out in the open because we also believe our kids benefit from learning how to have healthy conflict. This does not apply to every fight obviously - but minor disagreements, you best believe we work those things out in the open. I'm not going to raise children who think we are perfect. We are human, we make mistakes, but they will be assured that no matter what- we love each other above anyone else. If you have all of the conflict without the affection or vice versa, I feel it does your children a disservice.
Intimacy comes in many forms, it is not all physical. I believe working through conflict is a part of working in intimacy. You don't grow in relationship if there aren't hard things that you need to struggle through with your spouse. I believe with my whole heart, it is incredibly beneficial to our children to see us work through our issues, it also holds us accountable to be kinder to each other because little ears are listening. I want my kids to know the truth of what it takes to build a solid relationship. I want them to learn communication because one day when they're older and married with kids of their own, I want them to remember how mom and dad always tried their best to love well even though we didn't always get it right. I take my job as a parent seriously, I think of what I can do now to benefit my kids as adults. I want to give my children a head start in their relationships that I didn't get so they can go above and beyond what Sam and myself are ever able to do.
A few take aways!
1. Put Jesus as the center of your relationship. Let everything flow out of your love for Him and I can guarantee things won't necessarily be easier, but you'll have someone to guide you through.
2. Love your spouse in the open. Don't be ashamed to let your kids see you kiss, hug, and be affectionate with one another. They will flourish because of it.
3. Allow them to learn conflict resolution from you. The goal isn't to present yourself as a perfect parent to your kids, the goal is to show them that even though we are far from perfect we are doing our best.
If you have any questions on Jesus, parenting, marriage, or relationships - please feel free to message me! Or if you have a topic you'd love me to write on, send it my way, I'd love to hear from you!
Don't forget to subscribe! XO
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