Mild Mama

Thank the good Lord that I got hitched before dating got crazy... I can't even fathom how people are finding their spouses these days - if it ever even gets to that point. All I see and hear from my friends is how they're "talking" with someone. No labels. No commitment. Just casual, we talk, we show we care about each other sometimes, but still get to have our space and distance and can bow out whenever we want. Ugh, just writing that gives me the heebie jeebies. Ain't how I roll. I am old fashioned, I guess. Ladies, if you are not being pursued by someone who is going to give you their all, end it! Don't settle for someone who won't be straight up with you. Don't assume they want the same thing as you, make them tell you . If it is not what you want to hear - find someone who has what you want! Sam, the day he told me he liked me, looking directly in my eyes, said "Kendall, you're my best friend. I really like you as a person, I don'...

I want to share a story with y'all that I haven't told many people outside of my family. After I had Emma 4 years ago (this friday to be exact... what happened to my baby girl?! UGH) I became a fear stricken parent. Every night going to sleep I would have horrible images flash through my mind of Emma getting kidnapped, my kids not being protected, not being able to keep them safe etc. I was literally engulfed in fear for a long period of time. Sam would have to pray over me every night just so that I would be able to fall asleep. Seriously, it was no joke. I never really opened up about it because it revealed that I had an issue with God and I wasn't ready to work it out yet. I wasn't trusting Him with my kids. He was bringing these fears up in me so we could deal with it head on together. It's not easy when God brings something so heavy to the surface. But I needed it to be resolved and soon because I was driving myself to the point of insanity. Finally, one nig...

I am just going to jump right in to what is on my mind. Yesterday, at church, the pastor was speaking about living intentionally. How we should be living as though we know when we will die. I have heard this many times before, but it hit me differently this time. Did you know that the Bible talks specifically about our days being numbered? Psalms 139 says we were formed in the womb and that our days are ordained by God. Whether you believe that or not, the fact is - no one knows when they will take their last breath. During the sermon, the pastor had a man stand up and talk about how 60 days ago, he was given only 90 days left to live. He shared how since he had been given his diagnosis his life has gotten so much better because he has started living with purpose. His days are full of love and forgiveness and spending time on the things that matter. He said he doesn't take anything back because he believes that this has set his life on a better track. Can you imagine that? I...

I saw another one of those quick recipe video things and decided to try it out. We love Mexican food at our house and are always wanting to try new things!! Before I even looked at the actual recipe, I bought a head of lettuce instead of cabbage. OOPS! So, mine were a tad different but still tasted amazing!! The kids loved it too, I bet it would be even better with cabbage though :) video link below!!             - INGREDIENTS- 1  head green cabbage 1 tbsp.  extra-virgin olive oil 1  large onion, chopped 1  red bell pepper, chopped Kosher salt 2  cloves garlic, minced 2 tsp.  ground cumin 2 tsp.  chili powder 3 c.  cooked and shredded chicken 1 1/3 c.  red enchilada sauce, divided 2 tbsp.  chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish 1 c.  shredded Monterey jack 1/2 c.  shredded cheddar Sour cream, for drizzling Preheat oven to 350º. In a large pot, b...

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my friend who will be getting married shortly and she asked "How do you and Sam communicate so efficiently?" "Was it hard to figure out?" The questions caught me off guard because we have disagreements, we get in arguments, we often don't see eye to eye on everything. "I don't try to make him into my clone," I answered quickly before thinking. I wasn't even sure what that meant at the moment, but as I've thought on it this morning - I realized, thats the key . We didn't marry someone to turn them into ourselves. I married someone who has an entirely separate way of thinking than me and thats OKAY. Hopefully you married someone who has the same foundational beliefs and thoughts - but besides that, everything else will be up for debate. I've seen lots of marriages where everything turns into an argument, there is no such thing as a healthy discussion. This should not be the case! For Sam and my...

I was talking with my daughter the other day and if you know Emma - you know that she is incredibly intelligent, she learns in a whole different way than I do. That in itself has been a learning curve for me as parent, for sure. She definitely didn't get her smarts from me either, her dad is extremely intelligent. Anyways, it was about 40 degrees here a couple weeks ago and she wanted to go outside. It was sunny and bright but the wind was brutal. I said "Emma, you need to go get your jacket on, you're going to freeze." "No I won't mom, the sun is out." "Trust me Emma, its cold." "I don't believe you mom, I don't need a jacket," she says in all of her 3 year old gusto and wisdom. "Fine," I reply "you can go outside without your jacket." About two minutes of playing outside, she runs back into the house "Mom!! I NEED my jacket! I'm soooo cold!" It was obvious by the shade of red her nose and ...

I honestly don't have anything specific on my mind I want to talk about, so I'm just going to write until it happens. I'm sitting here listening to the kids yell at each other in the other room and avoiding going in there at all costs. I love my kids dearly, but man - they can really pinch my last nerve sometimes. Last night, as I was standing over the sink full of dishes, I started to get teary eyed because I had this sweeping emotion of how 'this is just my life now.' It consists of waking up, children all day, cleaning, and then sleeping and starting over. I got into a funk last night because I forgot my purpose. I don't know about you, but I often lose sight of my purpose. I sit and feel so stuck in the now that it is hard for me to look past my current circumstances. I think back on what I thought my life would look like and see that it is not what I had imagined in my teen years. I used to believe I was going straight into ministry - rescuing women from...

I know you are all hoping I am going to write some awesome blog on how I love Boyz II Men and although I DO love me some of that 90's R&B - thats not what is on my heart today. Today, I'm thinking about Cyrus and how most of the time I look at him and think 'what the heck am I doing.' I love this kid so much, but let me tell yah - Cy has been polar opposite from Emma in every sense of the word. He is active, wild , gets hurt all the time, L O U D, and requires a lot of attention. His needs are totally different from hers. My heart is so burdened for this coming generation of young men, maybe because I feel this sense of responsibility now that I have one of my own boys to lead. These children who have the world at their fingertips but have been handed an iPad instead. These little boys who no longer love to play outside but have been encouraged to spend their time sitting in front of a screen. These ones who have God-given energy, vibrancy, and boldness but ha...

Saturday, we had our friend over all day to hang out with us. It was a great time, we went to two fun restaurants, sat outside, had some margaritas, and overall just enjoyed a relaxing day. Buuuttt little did our friend know, every time he would walk out of the room, run out to his car, or turn his head, I would stare at Sam and try to do the 'juju on that beat' dance. Sam would shake his head, smile big, try not to laugh, and would mouth to me "you're so white" and many other things of the like. I love that man. I tell you this because, as I was dancing to some Post Malone later that night brushing my teeth, (I'm sure right now you're like wow, Kendall is a freaking weird-o who dances all day lol) I realized - WOW. I'm sooo much more fun when I'm not pregnant. I'm like how I used to be when we were dating. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being pregnant, I mean, I've been pregnant for like 3 years straight. It's just that th...

HOLY MOLY. This recipe was.... AMAZING . I was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook the other day, when I saw one of those 2 minute recipe videos that make everyone feel like they could become a professional chef. It started quick with some sautéed mushrooms in butter and instantly caught my eye. It took me about 45 minutes - 1 hour to prepare and make, but it was well, well worth it. The kids, Sam, and I devoured it. I served it with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli - baked in coconut oil, sprinkled with sea salt. YUMMMM! Here is the recipe!! I double dog dare you to try it out. You won't be disappointed. I'll link the video down below so you can take a quick watch and see if you're into it. Mushrooms: 4   tablespoons   butter 8   ounces   (250 grams) brown mushrooms,   sliced 4   cloves garlic,   minced 2   tablespoons   fresh parsley chopped Salt and pepper,   to taste Chicken: 4   chicken breasts, ...

This morning we were sitting around the table eating cinnamon rolls and drinking some coffee when I decided to ask my 3 year old daughter what to write my blog about.. "hmmm," she says "I think you should write about, 'if your kids are mad at you.'" I initially laughed and as I sat there I thought - 'well, there's not a lot you can do when your kid is mad at you. You have to correct them. You have to be the bad guy, sometimes. You have to steer them in the right direction, from time to time.' But as I thought on it a little longer I was brought back to this memory of Emma, disobeying for the 100th time that particular day and me completely snapping. I lost it, I yelled, I told her to get on her bed and not get up, that her privileges were being taken away because she was continuously refusing to listen. She walked to her room crying, obviously upset about losing privilege but also upset because I had lost. my. cool. You see, mild mama is what I...

Lets talk about you & me, lets talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be.... Thanks Salt N Pepa for the intro. I was talking with my sister yesterday about my blog and all the things I want to open the discussion on. I want to be able to give insight on things that I've learned in my few years being a full time wife and mom! One of the things that I think most people feel uncomfortable talking about is, you guessed it, S. E. X. If you're like me, you grew up with it being something extremely private and not to be talked about. I grew up in a christian family, I went to private school, these things were not just openly discussed. I feel as though that can put an unspoken shame on something that is so amazing. Yes, I said it. Sex is amazing. There is nothing shameful about it. It is natural, good, and beautiful within the confines of marriage. Annnnd thats what I want to hit on today specifically. I truly believe, the best sex will come from being...

Lets rewind. Picture this, 6 years ago, Sam and me sitting in our marriage counseling session. We were talking through some things that needed to get worked out before making our commitment to one another. My sister and her husband were awesome enough to take the time to help us & prepare for what we were diving into! As we all have heard, marriage is NOT 50/50.. As my sister was saying that - I said "Oh I know this, marriage isn't 50/50 because its 100/100! You both have to put in the full effort for it to work out." Me in all my pre-marriage knowledge was soooo confident that I knew the key to success. I was ready to give. it. my. all. Especially if he was going to give 100, too! Here's the thing , marriage is NOT 50/50, but it is also not 100/100 either... The thing that stuck out to me in all of my marriage counseling sessions was this... marriage is 100/0. Yes, you read that right. 100 to 0. How does that make any sense? I'm not going to sign up to ...

I had no idea what I was going to write on today... Then something happened this morning that just made it click for me. The kids woke up at our usual time, we sat down and had some greek yogurt with bananas. Cyrus seemed off from the moment he woke up - fussy, whiny, argumentative. Everything was bothering him. I looked at him and knew that he was still exhausted. My 1.5 year old little boy is still taking two naps a day. I have tossed around the idea of cutting out the first nap for a couple weeks now, but every time I do - the afternoon nap isn't as successful because he's over tired. Today, he walked into his room grabbed his stuffed fox and his binky (which he is only allowed to have at nap time.) I held him and asked "Cyrus are you ready to go down for a nap?" "NO!!!" he screamed. I put him down and took away the binky. "You know you can only have this for nap time, honey- are you ready?" "NO!!!" came another scream. I put the bink...

Wow. I never thought that I was a nitpicker until last night... I was walking around the house picking things up, my husband was sitting on the couch burping our newborn after already putting the other two to bed. (He's the best) But as I was walking around, seeing him sit on the couch watching basketball started to annoy me. Even though he had managed getting everyone ready for bed, those things were not on my mind. I walked to the kitchen and noticed he washed off the high chair tray but there was still a little ranch on it from Cyrus dipping his pizza in it. (Sam even insisted we order pizza so I didn't have to cook after our weekend away, what a guy) I see the ranch still smeared on the wet tray and I think to myself "seriously? When you wash something off, make sure you get it all" I was juuuust about to open my mouth to tell him that he had missed the ranch when I realized - oh my goodness... I am LOOKING for a reason to complain about him to him. I wipe down...

If you know me, you know that I am an empath to the core. Some people are taught how to be empathetic, but I was born with the gift/curse. If you're also an empath, then you are very aware of how it can  definitely feel like both. I grew up being very misunderstood because I had BIG emotions, to say I cried a lot is a huge understatement. Everything put me in tears- sad things, happy things, surprising things, you name it. Honestly, I seemed as though I was a mess all the time. After years of people making fun of how easily I cried, I had a sister pull me into the bathroom - she gave me a hug and told me "Kendall, these tears aren't for you, they're for the people suffering. You're picking up everyone's emotions and not knowing how to decipher them as theirs or your own." That was LIFE changing information for me. Right then and there we prayed together for the people who we knew were suffering. Immediately, I felt a weight had been lifted off of me and ...

This morning as I was thinking of what to write on, this phrase came to mind "you can not be a good friend when you're constantly comparing your journey to another.." In this day and age, comparison is the norm because we have social media in our faces with how we should act, live, do things differently etc... We are seeing other peoples highlight reels and thinking 'why can't I be a mom like her, wow her husband treats her well, I wish my house was that clean, why can't I seem to get it all together,' and the list goes on.. Let me just say - we were not made to be clones of one another! The world desperately needs one of YOU! I know this is extremely basic knowledge, but it can be really hard to grasp when we are constantly being fed this idea of how our life is supposed to look. A little bit about me, I grew up in a huge family - 12 kids and I am the very youngest. I loved it, every part of it. BUT I can say that it is was so easy to get caught up...