A letter to my husband.

Saturday, we had our friend over all day to hang out with us. It was a great time, we went to two fun restaurants, sat outside, had some margaritas, and overall just enjoyed a relaxing day. Buuuttt little did our friend know, every time he would walk out of the room, run out to his car, or turn his head, I would stare at Sam and try to do the 'juju on that beat' dance. Sam would shake his head, smile big, try not to laugh, and would mouth to me "you're so white" and many other things of the like. I love that man.

I tell you this because, as I was dancing to some Post Malone later that night brushing my teeth, (I'm sure right now you're like wow, Kendall is a freaking weird-o who dances all day lol) I realized - WOW. I'm sooo much more fun when I'm not pregnant. I'm like how I used to be when we were dating. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being pregnant, I mean, I've been pregnant for like 3 years straight. It's just that there is something about having my body (mostly) back to myself that is the greatest feeling.

All of these things that happened, made me think back on a conversation I had with Sam right after we got married and I found out we were having a honeymoon baby - a.k.a. Emma. We were talking about how I was scared of what was going to happen to me while pregnant, I mean, I had only heard horror stories of the hormones, birth, what your body looks like after, and how you change etc. And yes, it is true - pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children DOES change you in a lot of aspects. Women go through so much in their lives, we have periods, we grow babies, we birth humans, we raise children, and then just when those things are over we have menopause... yippee..

Anyways, Kendall, get back to the point - geez... I remember specifically telling Sam, please when I'm in the thick of my hormones, when I'm in the thick of raising kids, when I'm exhausted and not in the mood to do all of the things we used to - please don't forget about me. Who I really am, who you married, who you fell in love with. Because, I will come back to you. It might be years down the road, it might be after our kids are grown and we are empty nesters. Me, who I am, will come back in an older, grayer, more wise version. There will be a day when I am no longer exhausted. There will be a day when I'm not covered in someone else's bodily fluid. There will be a day where I'm in the mood again, where I feel like adventuring and having the fun that we used to have. But for right now, in these hard years that are so long but will feel so quick once they are over, please - give me grace. Don't alienate me, try to understand the best you can, so that I will come back to you sooner. These years are hard for us as women. We are already emotional creatures without all the added things. If we feel you don't understand or aren't trying to understand, we will close up, we will distance ourselves, we won't be able to be vulnerable. Please Sam, remember me now and hold onto that through the years until I can have myself back again.

5 tips for the men during these hard years!

1. Don't try to fix her. Let her walk through her process and be the hand to hold and the stability along the way.

2. Try and stay as light hearted & calm as possible. That doesn't mean being silly, it means bringing her into your sense of peace.

3. Pray for her and with her. I'm telling you gentleman, this one is the key and the real winner.

4. Share the burdens as best you can, don't let her carry the bulk of the weight. i.e. keeping the household, raising the children, cleaning, cooking.

5. Listen intently when she opens up to you. What woman really want is someone who listens and does their best to understand.