What to do when your kids are mad at you!
This morning we were sitting around the table eating cinnamon rolls and drinking some coffee when I decided to ask my 3 year old daughter what to write my blog about.. "hmmm," she says "I think you should write about, 'if your kids are mad at you.'" I initially laughed and as I sat there I thought - 'well, there's not a lot you can do when your kid is mad at you. You have to correct them. You have to be the bad guy, sometimes. You have to steer them in the right direction, from time to time.'
But as I thought on it a little longer I was brought back to this memory of Emma, disobeying for the 100th time that particular day and me completely snapping. I lost it, I yelled, I told her to get on her bed and not get up, that her privileges were being taken away because she was continuously refusing to listen. She walked to her room crying, obviously upset about losing privilege but also upset because I had lost. my. cool. You see, mild mama is what I aspire to be. I want to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry when dealing with my kids. I can say a lot of the time I handle things pretty okay. But this specific day, it was not a pretty sight. As she sat on her bed and I was cleaning up, in anger, whatever was torn apart - I felt a HUGE conviction. I mean, huge. There was NO need for me to have lost it, she's 3 for crying out loud.
I went into her room, I got down on my knees next to her bed - looked her straight in the eye and said "Emma, mama is so sorry for how I talked to you. I should not have yelled, I should have spoken to you with respect. You didn't deserve that." She started crying - just at my apology, it broke her down. She gave me the biggest hug and said, "its okay mama, I forgive you." We prayed together and I said "Lord, please help me to be the best mom for Emma, Cyrus, and Laynee - I need you to guide me and show me how I can do better." Emma literally stopped me in the middle of my prayer and said "mama, you're already a great mom." THIS is how forgiving kids are, THIS is what happens when they see their parents admit they were wrong, apologizing, and asking for help to do better.
Parents, it is NOT a sign of weakness to apologize to your kids. It shows them that you're human, that you don't have it all together, that you make mistakes. Apologizing to your kids should become habit. Don't be afraid to admit that you were wrong. I think in the long run, it helps your children realize that you were humble enough to admit your mistakes and will make your relationship so much stronger. I realize this may not be the most popular discussion, because I know some parents who think "even if you made the wrong decision, stick to it so they see a consistent front, so they know they can't get away with bad behavior" But, I beg to differ. Lowering yourself and apologizing to your kids will take you a lot farther in relationship than acting like you've never done anything wrong. Also, side note- it gives your kid an opportunity to walk in forgiveness... which is huge.
A couple take aways
Ask for forgiveness - you will be amazed at how forgiving your children will be.
Pray together - ask God to help them with obedience, ask God to help you to be slow to anger.
Don't let your emotions lead your parenting - they are kids. Even though it can feel like they are purposely trying to drive you nuts, all they really want is your attention. Let it be said about you that you didn't lead your parenting with emotions but with stability, consistency, and the willingness to admit your wrongs!
HAPPY SATURDAY!
But as I thought on it a little longer I was brought back to this memory of Emma, disobeying for the 100th time that particular day and me completely snapping. I lost it, I yelled, I told her to get on her bed and not get up, that her privileges were being taken away because she was continuously refusing to listen. She walked to her room crying, obviously upset about losing privilege but also upset because I had lost. my. cool. You see, mild mama is what I aspire to be. I want to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry when dealing with my kids. I can say a lot of the time I handle things pretty okay. But this specific day, it was not a pretty sight. As she sat on her bed and I was cleaning up, in anger, whatever was torn apart - I felt a HUGE conviction. I mean, huge. There was NO need for me to have lost it, she's 3 for crying out loud.
I went into her room, I got down on my knees next to her bed - looked her straight in the eye and said "Emma, mama is so sorry for how I talked to you. I should not have yelled, I should have spoken to you with respect. You didn't deserve that." She started crying - just at my apology, it broke her down. She gave me the biggest hug and said, "its okay mama, I forgive you." We prayed together and I said "Lord, please help me to be the best mom for Emma, Cyrus, and Laynee - I need you to guide me and show me how I can do better." Emma literally stopped me in the middle of my prayer and said "mama, you're already a great mom." THIS is how forgiving kids are, THIS is what happens when they see their parents admit they were wrong, apologizing, and asking for help to do better.
Parents, it is NOT a sign of weakness to apologize to your kids. It shows them that you're human, that you don't have it all together, that you make mistakes. Apologizing to your kids should become habit. Don't be afraid to admit that you were wrong. I think in the long run, it helps your children realize that you were humble enough to admit your mistakes and will make your relationship so much stronger. I realize this may not be the most popular discussion, because I know some parents who think "even if you made the wrong decision, stick to it so they see a consistent front, so they know they can't get away with bad behavior" But, I beg to differ. Lowering yourself and apologizing to your kids will take you a lot farther in relationship than acting like you've never done anything wrong. Also, side note- it gives your kid an opportunity to walk in forgiveness... which is huge.
A couple take aways
Ask for forgiveness - you will be amazed at how forgiving your children will be.
Pray together - ask God to help them with obedience, ask God to help you to be slow to anger.
Don't let your emotions lead your parenting - they are kids. Even though it can feel like they are purposely trying to drive you nuts, all they really want is your attention. Let it be said about you that you didn't lead your parenting with emotions but with stability, consistency, and the willingness to admit your wrongs!
HAPPY SATURDAY!
❤️❤️❤️
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