Comparison & why it kills relationships.
This morning as I was thinking of what to write on, this phrase came to mind "you can not be a good friend when you're constantly comparing your journey to another.." In this day and age, comparison is the norm because we have social media in our faces with how we should act, live, do things differently etc... We are seeing other peoples highlight reels and thinking 'why can't I be a mom like her, wow her husband treats her well, I wish my house was that clean, why can't I seem to get it all together,' and the list goes on..
Let me just say - we were not made to be clones of one another! The world desperately needs one of YOU! I know this is extremely basic knowledge, but it can be really hard to grasp when we are constantly being fed this idea of how our life is supposed to look.
Let me just say - we were not made to be clones of one another! The world desperately needs one of YOU! I know this is extremely basic knowledge, but it can be really hard to grasp when we are constantly being fed this idea of how our life is supposed to look.
A little bit about me, I grew up in a huge family - 12 kids and I am the very youngest. I loved it, every part of it. BUT I can say that it is was so easy to get caught up in comparison because so many people are doing SO many great things, specifically in my family. I realized about 4-5 years ago that I don't want my life to look like anyone else's. Not in my family and not anyone else that I know. I want to be exactly who I was made to be and be the best at it! I laid down the comparison & jealousy, I asked God who I was meant to be in this season of my life - and I am okay with the answer! I'm a stay at home mom, I do NOT by any means have it all together - but I love Jesus a lot and try my best to love the people that He has placed in my life.
It has been so freeing to have let go and truly be content with where my life is going. I have been able to be a much better wife, mother, sister, and friend because I am truly not concerned with trying to get my life looking like anyone else's. I am able to encourage and support and cheer and celebrate the successes of my family & friends who are doing amazing things because I have become secure in the fact that I am living the life I was meant to live. Even on my hardest days, I don't want to trade it, because I'm made for a specific purpose that no one else can fulfill!
God sees and notices us and loves us for all the things that we are - and that is really where we need to find our security! I encourage you, if you are stuck in the awful comparison cycle right now, let. it. go. We will never be able to be happy for others if we are constantly living in a place of jealousy and/or comparison! We will always secretly be wanting people to fail because we don't want anyone to be ahead of us or to seem better than us! No one is better or worse than you because you are the only YOU. SO - get off the phone, computer, tablet - take a look at your life and ask God, who do you say that I am? What is my life's purpose? What do you want my life to look like? And then listen, because He will respond.
As my grandmother would always say, 'YOU are so special!' Your life wasn't designed to look like anyone else. You have an individual purpose. Your value isn't dependent on what other people think of you.
It has been so freeing to have let go and truly be content with where my life is going. I have been able to be a much better wife, mother, sister, and friend because I am truly not concerned with trying to get my life looking like anyone else's. I am able to encourage and support and cheer and celebrate the successes of my family & friends who are doing amazing things because I have become secure in the fact that I am living the life I was meant to live. Even on my hardest days, I don't want to trade it, because I'm made for a specific purpose that no one else can fulfill!
God sees and notices us and loves us for all the things that we are - and that is really where we need to find our security! I encourage you, if you are stuck in the awful comparison cycle right now, let. it. go. We will never be able to be happy for others if we are constantly living in a place of jealousy and/or comparison! We will always secretly be wanting people to fail because we don't want anyone to be ahead of us or to seem better than us! No one is better or worse than you because you are the only YOU. SO - get off the phone, computer, tablet - take a look at your life and ask God, who do you say that I am? What is my life's purpose? What do you want my life to look like? And then listen, because He will respond.
As my grandmother would always say, 'YOU are so special!' Your life wasn't designed to look like anyone else. You have an individual purpose. Your value isn't dependent on what other people think of you.
A couple tips on how to walk away from comparison!
1. Get out and volunteer at a nursing home, a pregnancy care center, hospital, SPCA - don't let your life be glued to a phone. When our lives are so small we become easily wrapped up in ourselves and get the "poor me attitude." Volunteering helps give perspective on how we are truly blessed.
2. Take a break from social media. Delete Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest. Whatever it is that is causing you to feel that inner struggle & anxiety. It. is. not. worth. it. YOU were made for so much more!
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