Empathy - misunderstood
If you know me, you know that I am an empath to the core. Some people are taught how to be empathetic, but I was born with the gift/curse. If you're also an empath, then you are very aware of how it can definitely feel like both.
I grew up being very misunderstood because I had BIG emotions, to say I cried a lot is a huge understatement. Everything put me in tears- sad things, happy things, surprising things, you name it. Honestly, I seemed as though I was a mess all the time. After years of people making fun of how easily I cried, I had a sister pull me into the bathroom - she gave me a hug and told me "Kendall, these tears aren't for you, they're for the people suffering. You're picking up everyone's emotions and not knowing how to decipher them as theirs or your own." That was LIFE changing information for me. Right then and there we prayed together for the people who we knew were suffering. Immediately, I felt a weight had been lifted off of me and that now I had a super power. I was able to feel what others were feeling. I could relate and help and allow others to be completely vulnerable with me. I was born with this innate emotional response to other people's pain. If I knew someone was suffering, I was suffering right alongside of them. A lot of times it would cause people to not take me seriously, I honestly looked like I belonged in the looney bin because I couldn't explain why I had feelings so big.
Being an empath in the world we live in today is NOT easy. We live in a society that is closed off to letting themselves feel and to truly be vulnerable. And when you are someone who feels big & feels the pain of others it is often mistaken as hyper sensitivity, overly emotional, dramatic, weak etc. but I promise you, that is not the case! Having this gift makes you incredibly strong. Jesus calls us to mourn with those who mourn, to weep with those who weep, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. There is nothing better you can do for a person in pain than to sit and cry right alongside of them.
The world doesn't need more problem fixers, logical answers, a list of steps to recovery. What the world needs is a few more people who will sit and take the time to come alongside someone in whatever process they are going through. Grief and pain make most people extremely uncomfortable. We tend to want to solve our friend's issue, to give answers that will help them get over it. This is never okay. The process of healing is meant to take time, people can't truly heal if they brush aside the pain. They need those who will allow them to feel deeply and embrace their hurt with no judgement and no rushing the process.
3 ways to embrace empathy
1. When feeling overwhelmed with emotion, take a minute to decipher if it is your own or if you're feeling deeply for someone else.
2. Be cautious and aware of your feelings. Take necessary breaks from people who are constantly keeping you on emotional overload. You can not fix everyone, give love freely - but make sure you're not emptying yourself without being filled again.
3. Realize that your emotions are God-given. He is an emotional God & HE feels deeply. Allow Him to guide and shape your feelings so that you don't become overrun by them.
I grew up being very misunderstood because I had BIG emotions, to say I cried a lot is a huge understatement. Everything put me in tears- sad things, happy things, surprising things, you name it. Honestly, I seemed as though I was a mess all the time. After years of people making fun of how easily I cried, I had a sister pull me into the bathroom - she gave me a hug and told me "Kendall, these tears aren't for you, they're for the people suffering. You're picking up everyone's emotions and not knowing how to decipher them as theirs or your own." That was LIFE changing information for me. Right then and there we prayed together for the people who we knew were suffering. Immediately, I felt a weight had been lifted off of me and that now I had a super power. I was able to feel what others were feeling. I could relate and help and allow others to be completely vulnerable with me. I was born with this innate emotional response to other people's pain. If I knew someone was suffering, I was suffering right alongside of them. A lot of times it would cause people to not take me seriously, I honestly looked like I belonged in the looney bin because I couldn't explain why I had feelings so big.
Being an empath in the world we live in today is NOT easy. We live in a society that is closed off to letting themselves feel and to truly be vulnerable. And when you are someone who feels big & feels the pain of others it is often mistaken as hyper sensitivity, overly emotional, dramatic, weak etc. but I promise you, that is not the case! Having this gift makes you incredibly strong. Jesus calls us to mourn with those who mourn, to weep with those who weep, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. There is nothing better you can do for a person in pain than to sit and cry right alongside of them.
The world doesn't need more problem fixers, logical answers, a list of steps to recovery. What the world needs is a few more people who will sit and take the time to come alongside someone in whatever process they are going through. Grief and pain make most people extremely uncomfortable. We tend to want to solve our friend's issue, to give answers that will help them get over it. This is never okay. The process of healing is meant to take time, people can't truly heal if they brush aside the pain. They need those who will allow them to feel deeply and embrace their hurt with no judgement and no rushing the process.
3 ways to embrace empathy
1. When feeling overwhelmed with emotion, take a minute to decipher if it is your own or if you're feeling deeply for someone else.
2. Be cautious and aware of your feelings. Take necessary breaks from people who are constantly keeping you on emotional overload. You can not fix everyone, give love freely - but make sure you're not emptying yourself without being filled again.
3. Realize that your emotions are God-given. He is an emotional God & HE feels deeply. Allow Him to guide and shape your feelings so that you don't become overrun by them.
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