Dating in 2019

Thank the good Lord that I got hitched before dating got crazy... I can't even fathom how people are finding their spouses these days - if it ever even gets to that point. All I see and hear from my friends is how they're "talking" with someone. No labels. No commitment. Just casual, we talk, we show we care about each other sometimes, but still get to have our space and distance and can bow out whenever we want. Ugh, just writing that gives me the heebie jeebies. Ain't how I roll. I am old fashioned, I guess.

Ladies, if you are not being pursued by someone who is going to give you their all, end it! Don't settle for someone who won't be straight up with you. Don't assume they want the same thing as you, make them tell you. If it is not what you want to hear - find someone who has what you want! Sam, the day he told me he liked me, looking directly in my eyes, said "Kendall, you're my best friend. I really like you as a person, I don't want this to ruin our friendship but I want to marry you someday. Do you think we could start dating with that being the intention." Goodness gracious did that scare me to death. I said "I appreciate the honesty, but no." hold on, be right back- gotta go change our 3rd kids diaper.

OK. I'm back. Yeah, he pretty much told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his best friend and that was me. As scary as that was for me, I really loved how he just said how he felt even if it was going to freak me out. He was confident, bold, and showed me how much he truly wanted me. A few weeks later he asked me out again, the answer was still no. A couple weeks after that it turned into not right now.. Then finally one night he came to visit and said "alright, enough of this - lets just try it out and if it doesn't work we will do our best to not let it ruin our friendship - but I am fairly certain I am going to marry you..." "what the heck, lets do it" I said. "Who knows whats going to happen but I'd be stupid not to at least try." Here we are 7 years later - married for 5, more in love than ever with 3 wild kids.

All that to say - stop skirting around the issues. Make a bold move. Guys, let your intentions be known. If you only want a fling or if you are just wanting to go on a few dates - let. it. be. known. Don't string along a girl who is waiting for something serious. Girls, don't allow yourselves to be strung along. Don't settle for the "we're just talking." Its a waste of your time and energy if it isn't going to go anywhere. Make your thoughts and feelings known.

Let me add this in, I don't think going on casual dates is wrong, AT ALL. Actually, I think it can be a good thing if you know that is the intention. BUT- I will say, being "exclusive" but not committed is an entirely different issue. Don't be exclusive with no intentions. I hope that makes sense.

5 tips to dating in 2019

1. Start praying for the person you will marry, they need it. They're probably going through similar struggles you are.

2. Stop texting what you have to say. Be bold and say how you feel to their face, looking in their eyes. Being bold and direct will go a LONG way in marriage. The more comfortable you get with just voicing how you feel, even if it comes out messy, will help so much.

3. Make a decision. Commit. Do you want this or not?

4. Don't get sucked into the thought that this is just how dating is now. It's only that way because we've made it that way. Start a new trend and require some effort.

5. Value yourself. Stop settling for the mediocre. Broaden your horizon. The perfect guy might be right in front of you. Maybe even your red headed best friend whom you never even suspected would be your perfect match.