Mild Mama

Please, can we stop saying "yeah....but.." We all know the type, the person that always wants to be the loudest voice. The person that has to have the last word in everything they discuss. The one who waits (or doesn't) for you to finish talking only to share their response. We've all encountered this type of person. A lot of people want to be right all the time. This is not a dig at anyone in particular, I think I've just become more sensitive to it since I have been examining myself. To be completely vulnerable and open, that was one of Sam's biggest issues with me before we got married. I always had a retort. I always wanted to be right. I mean, thats pretty human of me but how annoying is that! No one wants to be friends with someone that has to be right all the time. I had this need to be heard and understood that I desperately wanted him to fulfill, but that can only be fulfilled by God. And a lot of the times, I was actually wrong. I realized real...

WOW. It has been a long time since I have been able to get a blog out there! I've had a lot of you reach out and ask when my next one is coming out - welp here it is. I am not even sure what I want to write about yet. I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. Sometimes thats the best way to get it done! I've missed this. Maybe I'll catch y'all up on some new things happening in the Gilmore world! If you didn't see from mine or Sam's social media, we have moved across the country! We are now living in New Hampshire (is this even real life guys?!) Also, can we talk about this weather for a sec? 70 degrees everyday, can't even deal. After being in the 110's for 5 months, this is a welcomed break. The past two months have probably been some of the hardest to get through. I could probably write a book on all of the different things we have learned, had to face, and overcame in these past few months. Looking back through it all, we have seen h...

This blog is going to be a little bit different. I am just going to go over the basics, one by one. Making a few points and if any of these spark something in you and you want to reach out, I'd love to hear from you! 1. Marriage doesn't HAVE to be hard. There are times that will be tough, obviously , but its all in your attitude and how you handle yourself during a conflict. YOU get to decide how a conflict is going to go. 2. Trying to control your spouse won't get you anywhere. You need to trust them and understand that they're ultimately accountable to God and that is a lot scarier than them being accountable to you. Giving ultimatums and threatening isn't the way to get what you want. You will get them to respond to you in love when you first respond to them in love. 3. Marriage consists of two humans. Humans - people who make zillions of mistakes, people who come from all different walks of life, people who communicate differently. Hopefully before you com...

Yesterday, Laynee wasn't napping. I'm not exactly sure why, but she just wasn't in to it. So, we were laying in bed together - smiling, laughing, butterfly-kissing. I thought, man I need to document this, I feel like life is passing me so quickly and my kids become grown over night. I got out my camera and turned the forward facing view on and oh. my. lanta. What I saw staring back at me was an old, haggard, sleep deprived mom, with 0 make up on because,  honestly , who has the time... (if you don't know by now, I love to keep it real - you aren't going to hear about my "perfect" life on this blog so proceed with caution) I held that camera up for like a good 5 minutes trying to snap a cute picture of Laynee and me. Haha, not happening. There was seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY , no good angle. It was terrible. I laid in bed and thought, wow - I can't even pick one good feature about myself. No filter is gonna fix this. My heart sank and I immediatel...

I mean... it is important, but it's  definitely  not everything. We live in a generation where everything is so hyper-sexualized. Everything can be an inappropriate innuendo, people break up with their significant others because they're "incompatible" in that area... Some people even completely lose their identity in their sexuality. Their sexuality becomes what defines them as a person. When in reality, our sexuality is only a  small sliver  in the totality of who we are. Before you get married, PLEASE, please,  please   don't do it because you are compatible sexually. You can grow in that area, where its not so easy to grow if you naturally disagree with the majority of what your partner believes. When I married Sam, I married knowing the cost of our commitment. I knew going into it, even if I was in a horrible accident and would never be able to have sex again, that he would still love me and choose me and I the same for him. Because THAT is what marri...

The other night, I was laying in bed - exhausted. I was ready to go to sleep after the long day. I had a whole evening planned out. I was going to take the longest, hottest shower known to man - because I had forgotten Laynee had spit up in my hair two days before and I was wondering why my hair was sticky and I smelled funky (real life y'all, I don't make these things up.) I was going to paint my nails, maybe put on a face mask, ya know, the whole self care thing that people are raving about these days - I was gonna try it out. Long story short, I showered with a 4 month old. I finished up - quickly blow dried my hair into a massive, poofy, frizz while she slept for a minute and then suddenly all. hell. broke. loose. Laynee lost it. I was rocking her trying to guess what could be wrong. All was fine and good for the first few minutes, I'm a " seasoned"  mom now, right? I've got 3 kiddos, it ain't my first rodeo. WRONG. I had no clue what to do. Sam look...

Spinach & cream cheese chicken - topped with mozzarella! *drool* The other night, I was stumped on what to make for dinner. I had a couple things I thought I would throw together, but instead I decided to type the ingredients I had in my fridge into google and see what it would pull up! Guys, seriously. Best chicken ever and SO easy. It honestly didn't really feel like I was cooking. The prep was so simple and totally worth it. Sam took his first bite and said "oh no... this is amazing, this needs to become a regular." So we are having it again this week :) We served it with jasmine rice and roasted broccoli and cauliflower! (I'm horrible at taking pictures, so this honestly doesn't even do it justice and actually kind of looks gross... but I promise it tastes much better than this picture looks haha.) Ingredients 2 or 3 large boneless skinless chicken breasts. 6 oz cream cheese, softened 2 cup spinach, rinsed 1 tablespoon olive oil 1/2 cup Mozzar...

I'm still new into motherhood. I mean, I have 3 kids now- but I haven't been at this for very long. So bear with me while I process my thoughts and share what I have learned works for us. With each kid comes a whole new world. Literally. Each child has their own individual needs, own individual "problems," things that you need to figure out - unfortunately through trial and error. Wouldn't it be so much easier if they came with some instructions per kid? Goodness. I wish. One thing that has been on my mind this past week is over-tired children. You know the type. If you've ever seen one - they act as if they are the most wide awake person on the planet and have just downed like 15 Redbulls. You would never know they're tired with how wired they are and how hard they fight sleep - BUT even with their mounds of energy, its not good energy. They're wild. They're grouchy, rude, ungrateful, disobedient, screaming.. you get the picture. They aren't...

OW OW - Sex in the kitchen, sounds fun doesn't it?! Unfortunately, that is NOT what I am talking about today haha. At least not exactly, I am talking about intimacy out in the open .  This blog is coming for you, my fellow parents. Do you realize how important it is for your kids to see you love on your spouse? Holding hands, kissing, hugging etc. Kids feel so safe  when they see their parents loving each other. I grew up in a single parent home. It was just me and my mama (and a million older siblings who mostly were moved out). I loved everything about my childhood - but I didn't get to see a healthy flourishing relationship. I never saw how a husband should love his wife or how a wife should love her husband. I never experienced what a healthy relationship looked like until I was older when my siblings were starting to get married. I so appreciate being able to see those relationships bloom and watch as God worked through them. When I started dating Sam, he was ALL abo...

What do you do when your husband is gone all the time? When he comes home late? When he takes long work trips? When he has multiple evenings out after a regular day at the office? I got a message from a friend the other day, she is concerned because her soon-to-be husband is out a lot without her! It's a conversation that she isn't sure how to address but needs it to be figured out because she is dealing with it silently and alone. I told her I had been in a similar position a year or so ago. Sam and I only had Emma and Cyrus, he was working SO hard, which I truly admire , but it was really starting to take a toll on me. The work trips felt like they were non-stop, the three nights a week work dinners that turned into hanging out late making sales were driving me mad! Although we were seeing the fruit of his efforts, I was suffering. Sam was doing all of this in the name of love because his goal was to be able to provide and when you're in sales- its all about building ...

Are you ready to commit? Not just on the good days but on every. single. one. of the hard days. Are you willing to wake up in the morning and choose that person again and again and again....and again? Are you willing to sacrifice your personal desires to join with your spouses desires? To meet in the middle, to compromise, to lower yourself? That list could go on and on. Marriage is the best thing but it is also a super hard thing, do you know why? Because it refines us. It makes us into better people. It is supposed to smooth out your rough edges so that you're a better person. It takes a choice every single day to love that person and honor that person above yourself. This isn't a popular opinion in a "I don't change for anyone" generation. But I can tell you this with confidence, you're missing out if you're unwilling to change. Changing brings about growth. If you are so set in your ways, you will never be able to experience the joy of choosing so...

Thank the good Lord that I got hitched before dating got crazy... I can't even fathom how people are finding their spouses these days - if it ever even gets to that point. All I see and hear from my friends is how they're "talking" with someone. No labels. No commitment. Just casual, we talk, we show we care about each other sometimes, but still get to have our space and distance and can bow out whenever we want. Ugh, just writing that gives me the heebie jeebies. Ain't how I roll. I am old fashioned, I guess. Ladies, if you are not being pursued by someone who is going to give you their all, end it! Don't settle for someone who won't be straight up with you. Don't assume they want the same thing as you, make them tell you . If it is not what you want to hear - find someone who has what you want! Sam, the day he told me he liked me, looking directly in my eyes, said "Kendall, you're my best friend. I really like you as a person, I don'...

I want to share a story with y'all that I haven't told many people outside of my family. After I had Emma 4 years ago (this friday to be exact... what happened to my baby girl?! UGH) I became a fear stricken parent. Every night going to sleep I would have horrible images flash through my mind of Emma getting kidnapped, my kids not being protected, not being able to keep them safe etc. I was literally engulfed in fear for a long period of time. Sam would have to pray over me every night just so that I would be able to fall asleep. Seriously, it was no joke. I never really opened up about it because it revealed that I had an issue with God and I wasn't ready to work it out yet. I wasn't trusting Him with my kids. He was bringing these fears up in me so we could deal with it head on together. It's not easy when God brings something so heavy to the surface. But I needed it to be resolved and soon because I was driving myself to the point of insanity. Finally, one nig...

I am just going to jump right in to what is on my mind. Yesterday, at church, the pastor was speaking about living intentionally. How we should be living as though we know when we will die. I have heard this many times before, but it hit me differently this time. Did you know that the Bible talks specifically about our days being numbered? Psalms 139 says we were formed in the womb and that our days are ordained by God. Whether you believe that or not, the fact is - no one knows when they will take their last breath. During the sermon, the pastor had a man stand up and talk about how 60 days ago, he was given only 90 days left to live. He shared how since he had been given his diagnosis his life has gotten so much better because he has started living with purpose. His days are full of love and forgiveness and spending time on the things that matter. He said he doesn't take anything back because he believes that this has set his life on a better track. Can you imagine that? I...

I saw another one of those quick recipe video things and decided to try it out. We love Mexican food at our house and are always wanting to try new things!! Before I even looked at the actual recipe, I bought a head of lettuce instead of cabbage. OOPS! So, mine were a tad different but still tasted amazing!! The kids loved it too, I bet it would be even better with cabbage though :) video link below!!             - INGREDIENTS- 1  head green cabbage 1 tbsp.  extra-virgin olive oil 1  large onion, chopped 1  red bell pepper, chopped Kosher salt 2  cloves garlic, minced 2 tsp.  ground cumin 2 tsp.  chili powder 3 c.  cooked and shredded chicken 1 1/3 c.  red enchilada sauce, divided 2 tbsp.  chopped cilantro, plus more for garnish 1 c.  shredded Monterey jack 1/2 c.  shredded cheddar Sour cream, for drizzling Preheat oven to 350º. In a large pot, b...

A few weeks ago, I was talking with my friend who will be getting married shortly and she asked "How do you and Sam communicate so efficiently?" "Was it hard to figure out?" The questions caught me off guard because we have disagreements, we get in arguments, we often don't see eye to eye on everything. "I don't try to make him into my clone," I answered quickly before thinking. I wasn't even sure what that meant at the moment, but as I've thought on it this morning - I realized, thats the key . We didn't marry someone to turn them into ourselves. I married someone who has an entirely separate way of thinking than me and thats OKAY. Hopefully you married someone who has the same foundational beliefs and thoughts - but besides that, everything else will be up for debate. I've seen lots of marriages where everything turns into an argument, there is no such thing as a healthy discussion. This should not be the case! For Sam and my...

I was talking with my daughter the other day and if you know Emma - you know that she is incredibly intelligent, she learns in a whole different way than I do. That in itself has been a learning curve for me as parent, for sure. She definitely didn't get her smarts from me either, her dad is extremely intelligent. Anyways, it was about 40 degrees here a couple weeks ago and she wanted to go outside. It was sunny and bright but the wind was brutal. I said "Emma, you need to go get your jacket on, you're going to freeze." "No I won't mom, the sun is out." "Trust me Emma, its cold." "I don't believe you mom, I don't need a jacket," she says in all of her 3 year old gusto and wisdom. "Fine," I reply "you can go outside without your jacket." About two minutes of playing outside, she runs back into the house "Mom!! I NEED my jacket! I'm soooo cold!" It was obvious by the shade of red her nose and ...

I honestly don't have anything specific on my mind I want to talk about, so I'm just going to write until it happens. I'm sitting here listening to the kids yell at each other in the other room and avoiding going in there at all costs. I love my kids dearly, but man - they can really pinch my last nerve sometimes. Last night, as I was standing over the sink full of dishes, I started to get teary eyed because I had this sweeping emotion of how 'this is just my life now.' It consists of waking up, children all day, cleaning, and then sleeping and starting over. I got into a funk last night because I forgot my purpose. I don't know about you, but I often lose sight of my purpose. I sit and feel so stuck in the now that it is hard for me to look past my current circumstances. I think back on what I thought my life would look like and see that it is not what I had imagined in my teen years. I used to believe I was going straight into ministry - rescuing women from...

I know you are all hoping I am going to write some awesome blog on how I love Boyz II Men and although I DO love me some of that 90's R&B - thats not what is on my heart today. Today, I'm thinking about Cyrus and how most of the time I look at him and think 'what the heck am I doing.' I love this kid so much, but let me tell yah - Cy has been polar opposite from Emma in every sense of the word. He is active, wild , gets hurt all the time, L O U D, and requires a lot of attention. His needs are totally different from hers. My heart is so burdened for this coming generation of young men, maybe because I feel this sense of responsibility now that I have one of my own boys to lead. These children who have the world at their fingertips but have been handed an iPad instead. These little boys who no longer love to play outside but have been encouraged to spend their time sitting in front of a screen. These ones who have God-given energy, vibrancy, and boldness but ha...

Saturday, we had our friend over all day to hang out with us. It was a great time, we went to two fun restaurants, sat outside, had some margaritas, and overall just enjoyed a relaxing day. Buuuttt little did our friend know, every time he would walk out of the room, run out to his car, or turn his head, I would stare at Sam and try to do the 'juju on that beat' dance. Sam would shake his head, smile big, try not to laugh, and would mouth to me "you're so white" and many other things of the like. I love that man. I tell you this because, as I was dancing to some Post Malone later that night brushing my teeth, (I'm sure right now you're like wow, Kendall is a freaking weird-o who dances all day lol) I realized - WOW. I'm sooo much more fun when I'm not pregnant. I'm like how I used to be when we were dating. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being pregnant, I mean, I've been pregnant for like 3 years straight. It's just that th...

HOLY MOLY. This recipe was.... AMAZING . I was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook the other day, when I saw one of those 2 minute recipe videos that make everyone feel like they could become a professional chef. It started quick with some sautéed mushrooms in butter and instantly caught my eye. It took me about 45 minutes - 1 hour to prepare and make, but it was well, well worth it. The kids, Sam, and I devoured it. I served it with a side of mashed potatoes and broccoli - baked in coconut oil, sprinkled with sea salt. YUMMMM! Here is the recipe!! I double dog dare you to try it out. You won't be disappointed. I'll link the video down below so you can take a quick watch and see if you're into it. Mushrooms: 4   tablespoons   butter 8   ounces   (250 grams) brown mushrooms,   sliced 4   cloves garlic,   minced 2   tablespoons   fresh parsley chopped Salt and pepper,   to taste Chicken: 4   chicken breasts, ...